Gift of Continence Fiona MacDougall Book 2 edition by Tabitha OrmistonSmith Literature Fiction eBooks
Download As PDF : Gift of Continence Fiona MacDougall Book 2 edition by Tabitha OrmistonSmith Literature Fiction eBooks 
With the perfect wedding dress, what can go wrong? A great deal, as Fiona McDougall rapidly discovers. From the wedding from hell onwards, Fiona successively discovers that her new husband is stingy, bad-tempered and an adulterer.
WARNING do not attempt to read this book while drinking hot liquids, as they may shoot out of your nose.
Reader's review
If you love Aussie humor, you will love this gem of a book! Lots of laugh out loud moments. You could call it, "My Big Fat Aussie Wedding". There are a few "F" words, but it wouldn't be a true Aussie yarn if it didn't have a few profanities thrown in from time to time. Give it a go - and after you've read it, you'll agree that it has to go straight to the pool room along with all your other little treasures. Patti Roberts - Author of the Paradox Series.
Gift of Continence Fiona MacDougall Book 2 edition by Tabitha OrmistonSmith Literature Fiction eBooks
"Sex and the City" step aside - here comes a hilarious Australian story of a wedding and early "marital bliss", which will have readers rolling in laughter.It all starts out like a dream: "The dress was magic. I still think so. It had some supernatural quality that defied analysis..."
Unfortunately for the heroine Fiona, things don't stay magic. Early trouble indicates that not everything may go smoothly: "I looked like Elizabeth the First. My hair rose vertically up from my head into what appeared to be a solid mass about eight inches high."
Tabitha Ormiston-Smith's book Gift of Continence is hilarious for obvious reasons. While we hate when even the tiniest thing goes wrong at our own wedding, we have a tendency to enjoy laughing about others' mishaps, especially if they are fictitious.
Fiona's bold conclusions regarding her wedding also ring true to our own (secret) thoughts: "Actually, I had a wonderful time. After all, when do you get to invite all your friends to a party that's paid for by someone else, and you're guaranteed to have the most stunning dress there?"
While naïve Fiona does not want to work (earlier experiences had not gone well) she wants to be the perfect wife. Her reflections about her attempts are priceless: "People in books always seem to take a deep breath and then be able to do whatever it was they were trying to do. It doesn't work in real life though."
Things really take off when now married Fiona finds a black lace garter belt in her husband's coat pocket. It is an intolerable situation. However, divorce is not a good option for Fiona. It might make her look less than the perfect wife. Even with the people closest to her (brother Patrick, best friend Gloria, and Gran) weighing in and trying to help with advice, Fiona has a hard time coming up with the very best plan.
This reviewer is not a spoiler, thus I will not tell how the situation gets resolved. One thing though - the way how Fiona gets rid of her philandering husband took me by surprise.
Great many female readers will appreciate the many references to how important wearing the right attire is to all matters of life: "When you're in your dressing gown, with your hair tangled and a temperature probably coming on, and the other person is all freshly showered and suited and dripping with cologne, well you're just putty in their hands, aren't you?" and:
"It's always a mistake to get into any kind of difficult conversation when one's not dressed." Which is exactly what happens to Fiona - quite frequently.
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Gift of Continence Fiona MacDougall Book 2 edition by Tabitha OrmistonSmith Literature Fiction eBooks Reviews
The short prologue just grabs you--and tells you exactly what you are going to read in the rest of this excellent novel the story of Fiona, a young woman who has the perfect family from hell, enjoys the perfect wedding from hell, and then lives through the perfect marriage from hell. The key is that Fiona is rather on the not-bright side, but this still manages to be an intelligent novel, partly because of dialogue by smarter characters, and partly because of the clever way it's written. Parts of this novel might require you to put on a diaper while reading them.
Some of the characters use significant profanity, and there are sexual references, so this book is only for broad-minded readers. But even those readers who don't normally enjoy humor or stories about weddings and marriages should enjoy this book. As a debut novel, this book is superlative.
There are very minor formatting issues about halfway through, but they don't detract much from the book's overall value, and the spelling, grammar and syntax are excellent. The author does use Australian spellings and terms, and she is very particular about certain points of style, such as when commas are appropriate; so that what a cursory reader might consider comma omissions are actually stylistic choices.
Highly recommended, and looking forward to the next one.
If you love Aussie humor, you will love this gem of a book! Lots of laugh out loud moments. You could call it, "My Big Fat Aussie Wedding". There are a few "F" words, but it wouldn't be a true Aussie yarn if it didn't have a few profanities thrown in from time to time. Give it a go - and after you've read it, you'll agree that it has to go straight to the pool room along with all your other little treasures.
Fiona's getting married. Why? Don't ask her. If you know what's good for you. The balance of your sanity may hang on your decision. She's completely over-the-top in her reasoning and conclusions. I love Fiona. She everything everybody is at times, even though we hope we will never be. Irrational, scared, naïve and then, there is the Cat! The cat could not be more Human if he'd had a real voice.
This book was beautifully constructed. The humor and human interaction between the characters was so flawless, that it left me feeling I had actually met them, and found myself saying, "Oh snap out of it, Fi!" The comedic timing was spot on to the point that it left me with aching sides from laughing out loud. Brilliant descriptions of places and situations that you don't usually see in short novels. I found that once I picked Fiona's story up, I couldn't wait to hear what she'd say next. I ended up not putting the book down even through my meal, which I do not often do. Definitely worth a re-read.
I closed the last page feeling refreshed and in a very good mood. It was a magical and musical Story. Ms. Ormiston-Smith goes Artisan and excels at the narrative!
"Sex and the City" step aside - here comes a hilarious Australian story of a wedding and early "marital bliss", which will have readers rolling in laughter.
It all starts out like a dream "The dress was magic. I still think so. It had some supernatural quality that defied analysis..."
Unfortunately for the heroine Fiona, things don't stay magic. Early trouble indicates that not everything may go smoothly "I looked like Elizabeth the First. My hair rose vertically up from my head into what appeared to be a solid mass about eight inches high."
Tabitha Ormiston-Smith's book Gift of Continence is hilarious for obvious reasons. While we hate when even the tiniest thing goes wrong at our own wedding, we have a tendency to enjoy laughing about others' mishaps, especially if they are fictitious.
Fiona's bold conclusions regarding her wedding also ring true to our own (secret) thoughts "Actually, I had a wonderful time. After all, when do you get to invite all your friends to a party that's paid for by someone else, and you're guaranteed to have the most stunning dress there?"
While naïve Fiona does not want to work (earlier experiences had not gone well) she wants to be the perfect wife. Her reflections about her attempts are priceless "People in books always seem to take a deep breath and then be able to do whatever it was they were trying to do. It doesn't work in real life though."
Things really take off when now married Fiona finds a black lace garter belt in her husband's coat pocket. It is an intolerable situation. However, divorce is not a good option for Fiona. It might make her look less than the perfect wife. Even with the people closest to her (brother Patrick, best friend Gloria, and Gran) weighing in and trying to help with advice, Fiona has a hard time coming up with the very best plan.
This reviewer is not a spoiler, thus I will not tell how the situation gets resolved. One thing though - the way how Fiona gets rid of her philandering husband took me by surprise.
Great many female readers will appreciate the many references to how important wearing the right attire is to all matters of life "When you're in your dressing gown, with your hair tangled and a temperature probably coming on, and the other person is all freshly showered and suited and dripping with cologne, well you're just putty in their hands, aren't you?" and
"It's always a mistake to get into any kind of difficult conversation when one's not dressed." Which is exactly what happens to Fiona - quite frequently.
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